5 posts tagged “yeah right”
What is one thing you MUST do before you go to bed at night?
Take off my bra. Otherwise, the evil spirits that live in the underwire strangle me in my sleep. They are a vindictive lot.
Here's one for the ladies: What's in your handbag right now?
Submitted by Kadeeae.
Well, I'm kind of shy but I'll share. Let me grab my purse.
OK. Let's see. Um...a half-eaten candy bar. 3 credit cards. One for Maria Espinosa. One for Laura Heedley. One for Kamberly Simpson. The one for Maria has my favorite picture of me though on its ID so I use that one the most this week. Then the IDs to go with the other ones. Some tictacs and a handful of receipts I still need to go through. A couple Maxi-pads. My Gottschalks card. A list of addresses that I still need to send late christmas cards to. Well a sandwhich baggie of Harry Potter themed Ecstacy. I only have one of those left so I need to restock it soon but I haven't seen it in the stores lately. Do you guys have any idea where I could get some more? Running so low makes me nervous. Luckily, I think I have a couple stashed in one of my pumps in the closet. My keys. Pre-paid cellphone. A razor that is getting a little dull. I need to replace that too but Walmart recognizes me now so that might be hard. Prayer Beads. A toe ring. My .380 ACP semi-auto, of course. Never leave the house without it. 6 passports held together with a rubber band. I keep what I can in ziplock bags because my lotion has exploded before. Vanilla scented, naturally. I love this stuff. You can get it at Rite-Aid. Then my pocket-sized book of the Bill of Rights. Half a piece of gum. A pack of band-aids. Some lint and an article I tore out of a magazine in a doctor's office.
Yep, that's it!
Wait no. My messed-up sense of humor was stuck to the bottom but it's definitely in there too.
Have you ever had plastic or elective surgery? Did you tell anyone? Why or why not?
Submitted by Beth Punches.
Yes, I did. No, I didn't tell anyone. Well, mom knows.
You see, when I was thirteen, I was scouted to be the next Sensation. I was supposed to sex-up the image of Young Women Writers. The problem? My breasts. They screamed Pre-teen! So, we went down to Nashville and got me these:
Thank God, I gained so much weight afterwards. Now, everyone thinks they're mine. My secret is safe.
Photo: Show us what you look like when you wake up.
Submitted by J.T.
Obviously I'm not a morning person. Don't I look grumpy? My eyes are all red too. Noire took the picture first thing in the morning when I woke up on my leather settee.
Show us a mess.
Submitted by Josie.
WTF?!!!!
You do all realize that this thing came the DAY AFTER I cleaned my room and HOURS AFTER I cleaned Siobhan's room? So wrong.
Instead, I am going to show you CLEAN . . . well, as clean as living gets. I even dusted all of my books!
